Finding Family
by Maetro
Summary: Paige questions her place in the family contemplates the good and bad in her life.


Paige walked across the soft grass, her heels sinking into the mud, making her progress slow and awkward, but she barely even noticed. as she wove her way through the cemetary to the end of the row and stopped in front of the weatehred headstone. Carefully she set the bouquet of flowers she held into the small vase mounted in the base of the headstone and dropped to the grass in front of it. She closed her eyes and for a moment sat there in quiet contemplation.

"Hi, Mom. Hi Dad," she began softly."I know I haven't been in awhile but things have been so crazy. The past few months have been rough. I found out who my birth mother was and learned that she died several years ago. That was hard, finally knowing who she was and realizing that I'd never get the chance to get to know her. I do have a connection to her though. She had other children. Daughters. I have sisters. There were three, Prue, Piper and Pheobe. Prue passed away though, recently. I read about it in the paper and it felt like a loss to me too, even though I didn't know who she was then.

It was her death that lead my other two sisters to me. To my powers. Yep, that's right, I said powers. This part is a little bit strange. It took me awhile to wrap my head around it and even now I sometimes wonder if I haven't lost my mind. My birth Mom was a witch. And so are my sisters. So am I. We're the Charmed Ones. It's apparently some sort of family legacy.

We fight evil. Demons, warlocks, monsters and an assortment of other things that go bump in the night. It can get pretty scary sometimes. And it's hard. There's so much to learn and I'm trying so hard to catch up but I feel like I'm never going to be as good as Piper and Pheobe. They've been doing this for three years now.

As hard as the witch stuff is, the sister stuff is even harder. Pheobe and I have gotten close. We have a lot in common and she's so easy to talk to but there's this wall between us that I can't seem to get around no matter how hard I try. I know it's because of Prue's death. The two of them fought quite often and that Pheobe feel...I don't know, guilty or something. Like her grief's not valid because they didn't get along very well and it's caused her to close a part of herself off.

Then there's Piper. I'm not sure she even likes me. Sometimes she'll look at me and I can tell she wishes that it was Prue she were seeing. Prue's death hit her hard. They were close and she really looked up to Prue. Not that she's mean or anything but she's distant. Even when she's being sweet, there's a part of her that's just not there. She's been helping me with my potions and spells, and she's been really patient but she doesn't open up to me

I thought it would get better when I moved in with them but I think it might be making it worse. They had a lifetime to get used to each others habits and personality quirks. They know what works for them and had a nice little arrangement. Now I'm there, this virtual stranger invading their childhood home. It's an adjustment for them. And me as well. I haven't lived with anyone since I was 18. Sometimes I think that we won't have to wait for the demons to get us, we're going to kill each other.

Not that it's all bad. There are some rewards. Like watching an innocent walk away from what would have otherwise been a fatal situation. Or mastering a new potion or spell. If felt really amazing when I finally learned to control my orbing. And there have been a few cool sister moments too, one's that give me hope that it's not always going to be this hard. Like, finding a mug of coffee waiting for me when I come downstairs, prepared just how I like it. Or having Pheobe wake me up at the crack of dawn by jumping on the bed so we could hit some sale at the mall." She let out a soft laugh. "It's so immature, but when she did it...she made me feel included. Y'know?"

Paige fell silent, thoughts that had been jumbled inside her head for so long losing their strenght after she had voiced them. "I miss you," she said, wishing that instead of the cold, granite gravestone she was talking with her parents.

She traced their names with her finger and stared at the engraved dates for a moment longer before pushing herself to her feet and making her way slowly through the cemetary to her car.

Paige eased the frontdoor open and stepped inside, taking care not to step on the creaky floorboard just inside the door. She could hear movement in the kitchen, likely Piper and probably Leo too, and she just wanted to make it upstairs to her room without having to talk to either of them. She just wasn't in the mood to be social.

"Leo, is that you?"

Paige froze halfway up the stairs and mouthed a curse. "No, it's me," she called, after taking a deep breath to steady her voice. It came out sounding a little hoarse but otherwise even. She retreated up the steps before Piper could come into the hallway and see her tearstained cheecks and watery eyes. Once in her room she lay on her side on her bed and pulled one of her pillows against her chest, burying her face in it as she cried.

She heard the door open a crack and froze, not breathing, not moving. When footsteps started across the room she hastily rubbed at her eyes and prepared to pretend that everything was fine so she could help Piper deal with whatever crisis she'd come up here about. She felt the bed beside her drop a little as Piper sat down beside her. Warmth enveloped her as Piper lay on her side and wrapped an arm around her.

Piper didn't say anything, just laid there beside her, holding her and stroking her hair as she cried. When the tears began to dry, Piper propped herself up on one elbow, the other arm still draped across Paige's hip.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

Paige shook her head.

"Sometimes it helps." She gave a little squeeze. "I know you're used to being independant but that's the thing about family, you don't have to be. You have sisters now."

Paige turned her head to look at her, debating whether or not to share what she was thinking. She was still feeling raw from her visit to her parents gravesite, so right now might not be the best time to get into it but then maybe getting things out in the open would be a good thing.

"What?"

She bit her lip, hesitating then made a decision. "Just saying the word, sisters, doesn't give it weight."

Piper frowned faintly. "What are you saying?"

"It's just...you and Phoebe keep saying we're sisters, as if it means something, but what does it mean?"

"It means..." Piper trailed off, her eyes closing as she searched for the words. "It means we share the same blood. That we're connected. That we'll always support and love each other."

"Really? Then why is it that you act like you can barely stand to be around me?"

Piper pulled back, a flash of hurt darting across her eyes before she masked it. "Is that really what you think of me?"

"Well, how can I not? You barely speak to me, and almost always only about demons or witchy things when you do. I know you complain about me, my habits and things I do, to Pheobe behind my back." She shook her head.

"Paige, that's not...I don't..."

"Look, Piper. It's okay, we've got this destiny thing and that means we're stuck with each other. You don't have to try and pretend it's anything more."

Piper looked stricken and Paige started to feel guilty. .

"It's okay, Piper."

Piper shook her head. "No, it's not. If I've been making you feel so terrible, I'm sorry. I've had sisters my whole life, and I guess that's part of the problem. Prue and Pheobe, they were always just there. They knew they were loved, even if we weren't getting along. But you, you don't have that assurance do you? Paige, I'm so sorry. I was so caught up in my own grief I didn't even realize what I was doing to you."

Paige felt her breath catch in her throat as Piper's eyes began to well up.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Paige said, reaching out and touching Piper's shoulder. Piper caught her hand in her own and squeezed.

"I do love you," she said, looking Paige in the eye. "You are my little sister, and I love you."

Paige felt her own eyes begin to well up as Piper pulled her into a hug. She was surprised by the warmth that spread through her at the words, at the feel of her embrace. Maybe, she realized, she couldn't expect her sisters to open up to her if she wasn't willing to open upherself.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and they pulled apart as Pheobe appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, guys, what's going on?"

Paige decided to take that first step and allow them to see a piece of her.

"Today's the anniversary of my parents death," she said softly, wiping at her eyes. "I went to visit their gravesite."

"Ah, Honey," Pheobe offered her a sympathetic smile as she climbed up onto the bed with them and wrapped an arm around Paige's shoulder.

"Tell us about them," Piper said softly. "Tell us about your parents."

Piper shifted backwards, pulling the other two with her so they were leaning against the headboard, a tangle of arms and legs as Paige closed her eyes and began to reminice.

They talked well into the evening, with first Paige then all of them sharing childhood stories and for the first time since it all started, they were truly sisters.

The end.


End file.
